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To Hell and Forward

by carolannette

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1.
Street Lights 04:44
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Street lights stronger than the half moon Lighting up the heavy darkness I can hear my voice echoing back at me See my eyes staring deep inside me Not even I have the privilege to know me Looking outside someone needs to show me Feet getting cold standing in the water Drinking up a memory Branches hanging low teasing me with sunlight Too afraid to go so I’ll stay here till the moonlight Not even I have the privilege to know me Looking outside someone needs to show me Everything is crystal clear But it’s the angle I fear Look a different way The lines begin to fade Hum of an engine singing in the background Can I rise above the murmur Bridge hanging low do I dare to cross it Walking real slow cause I’m too afraid to rock it Not even I have the privilege to know me Looking outside someone needs to show me
2.
Waltz 05:01
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My life is a week old cartoon This will all be a memory soon Everything passes by Like clouds sailing through the sky And this cycle continues No matter where I am Laughing in the mirror Find a way to understand Life goes on Whether or not you have a plan In this world I’m a speck of dust And they’ll always be room for me I trust Like a star in the darkest night And I‘ll fade away without a fight And this cycle continues No matter where I am Laughing in the mirror Find a way to understand Life goes on Whether or not you have a plan It goes on and on and on and on and on........
3.
Free 04:17
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Don’t tell me what to do Don’t tell me what to say Don’t tell me what you want I do things my own way You tried to change my mind You tried to tame my soul You tried to tie me down Stop trying to run my life Cause all I have is me and knowing that sets me free I don’t wanna own you But I still wanna be with you Cause everybody knows That a soul’s as free As a butterfly A life is never free A life can never be A life is just a dream we have This fact I’ve grown to see We’re trapped inside a shell We learn to know it well We get so attached It’s just a living hell
4.
Not Afraid 03:57
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I’m not afraid to walk alone Anywhere I go I can feel at home Life can be so easy when I’m free Unattached things are in focus for me I can find reality in my dreams Life is never what it seems I can feel the power in my mind When I’m by myself that’s what I always find And the picture is clear when I’m standing back When I move into close I start to over react But I can still give and I can still love I get my inspiration from the stars above Anyone can walk the path inside Like clinging to a raft unshaken by the tide Listen to the voice inside your head Don’t assume the role of being led
5.
Love is Not Enough 03:53
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Love is not enough for me Can’t we strive for honesty, understanding I don’t wanna play another game It will end up just the same End up loosing Love’s so demanding I tried to love before I’ve always searched for more Living in your dream world all the time Fairytales contaminate your mind, open up you eyes Idealist can’t you see the light You’re just wasting all your time With your foolish lies
6.
Blood in the Sand 04:56
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Something happened not sure what Woke up reeling, gashed and cut I think it had to do with you Reached the limit of what you put me through There’s an aching in my gut Dizzy from the same old rut Moments of peace of mind are few And your apology is overdue Grayness settled to the earth Fogged the mirror of my worth I find myself believing lies To carry on this life that I despise You brought about my second birth Now I see it’s just a curse I look for answers in your eyes All I see are alibis For a moment it felt like the whole world was ending Waves crashing down on me The mountains were crumbling the skies they were falling An explosion inside of me Leaving a trail of blood in the sand My heart’s still beating, in your hand Day turned to night but the moon was shy Distant stars were my only light And you turned away but it wasn’t ok Will this heart ever mend torn apart by the wind
7.
Rope 04:17
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You’re floating on the clouds and you’re tossing on the sea And there’s nothing I can do but watch you shiver and freeze I’m trying to protect you from afar But it’s a vain attempt and I’m starting to tire You know I’m starting to tire, I’m getting so tired I’m trying to crawl and keep my place In this cockeyed parade we call the human race Part of me is missing and I’m trying to cope How can I save you when it’s me who needs a rope I’m the one who needs a rope, somebody give me a rope I’ll see you on the other side….. I see you in your struggles and I wanna lend a hand But if you pull too hard I might lose myself again I try to be strong and I try to be tough But the waters they’re too rough The waters are too rough, the waters are so rough
8.
Doing it for Myself 05:33
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Not trying to win anyone over Not hoping to see my name in lights Just a pressure release from this time bomb inside me A little song and a dance to make me feel alright Just doing it for myself…… Singing out to feel sane and escape all the madness It’s like a massage turned inside out If you wanna join in it might make you feel better And if you can’t sing go on and just shout Do it for yourself……. How could we survive without any music On this big ball in space only to exist, oh no! While we’re all stuck here might as well join the party You gotta join in the dance I have to insist Come on and do it for yourself……..
9.
Being Alive 03:45
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It’s an ancient sleep that beckons me It’s the tears I weep that bring harmony Cuz being alive means feeling the pain Having the drive to remove the stain Somewhere along the path comes joy, hearing the song from a distant shore Seeing the light in the darkest cave, finding my sight and denying the grave Cracks are forming on my face Years of storms I can’t erase But I can take it all in stride I can even fake my pride Memories fresh in my mind, start to mess with my sense of time I finally know just who I am, survived the blows and I understand Night will fall won’t close my eyes I’ll take the call and claim my prize The deepest cavern of my soul A key I hide that makes me whole It seems this dusty trail won’t end, I’m growing frail I could use a friend Building castles out of air, no more hassles I've had my share
10.
I Needed 06:19
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The moon came out to play but I couldn’t stay I needed to wander till I found the light of day I needed the sun blinding my eyes I needed the warmth, I needed the light I needed to see things clearly The dream world and the shadow taking flight The stars put on a show but I had to go I needed to find a place of shelter from the ice and snow I needed to feel the coming of spring I needed to thaw, I needed routine I needed to end my hibernation Time to re-create a scene No guessing anymore Feet planted firmly on the ground…….
11.
Roommates with a Porn Star 03:52
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Nobody told me it would be this way No one explained to me the games you play Now I find myself in disarray I gotta lick my wounds and face the day Running in circles in the dark of night To many reasons lost my use for sight Hiding in shadows sheltered from the light Only have memories of my will to fight I guess you could say I almost lost my mind Begging the universe please be kind Reading the cards and hoping for a sign Trying to catch up with my lack of time Now I’m roommates with a porn star And the last tank of gas in my car And I’m driving with my eyes closed But I’ll get there I know
12.
Prisoner of War 04:11
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Hours stretch before me but I’m stuck in this moment Everything’s wide open, but my feet are nailed to the ground Angels above me, demon below Both are interfering with whether I should stay or go I keep pretending that I don’t have a choice This battles never ending and I am my own prisoner of war My own prisoner, my own prisoner of war……. Dawn is barely breaking I can see a ray of light Looking to the east the shadows reach behind me to the west I’m never up this early, it’s such a change of pace Something in me stirs as I watch the sunrise crown the day in grace I feel I’m drifting to a different state of mind Will my burdens be lifted, will this be a new chapter of my life There will come a day, there will come a day…….. When I won’t be pretending that I don’t have a choice My burdens will be lifting and I won’t be my own prisoner of war
13.
Rollerskates 03:43
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A little flame’s been burning in me all my life It’s about to become a raging fire So many moments felt it might burn out But I’m alive and I’m inspired Years and years of doing what I had to Feeling trapped by circumstance I was walking on the straight line Now I’m doing free form dance And it feels so good, it feels so great Like a little girl on rollerskates Feeling awesome feeling fine Time to claim what’s truly mine You know I had to wait a long time But I won’t regret the past Cuz now I’m living in the moment You’ve gotta grab it while it lasts Years and years of doing what I had to Feeling trapped by circumstance I was walking on the straight line Now I’m doing free form dance

about

This is a collection of songs I wrote dating back to the early 80’s (during my angst ridden youth) all the way into this new century we find ourselves in. Technology has made it easier to self-produce…..so here I am, doing just that! It has been a wonderful journey working on these songs the last 2 years. This is my first attempt at fully orchestrating my songs. So many years I relied on the musical genius of my soul mate, husband, and life partner, Robert Lopez for that role. Though this is my first solo album of sorts, there is no way I could have pulled this off without his support, financially, emotionally, and in so many other ways. This is for you babe!

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released March 24, 2013

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carolannette Pomona, California

I have been writing songs and performing in various bands over the last 40 years, including The Motherfolkers, Metal of the Road, The Grip and Technopagan. The styles included Blues based rock, folk rock, singer/songwriter and most recently an experiment in electronic dance music. Influences include Pink Floyd, Tori Amos, Bjork, The Eurythmics, James Vincent Mc Morrow and too many others to name! ... more

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