I'm looking for an out, God give me strength to shout I need to scare away, demons from yesterday I see them everywhere, but no one seems to care No one understands, I don't know who I am anymore The night is dark and cold and I know I'm much too old To be afraid like this, I need my mother's kiss But she is far from me and I wonder can she see The kind of mess I'm in, feel like a child again Oh no There's an angel I can feel it, will it save me from myself can't seem to do it on my own anymore Someone please hold my hand, pull me up so I can stand No longer wanna crawl, can't this be my last fall I wanna move ahead, will my hunger be fed Need a better view, is this trial finally through Say yes

Waking up again from the cold dull gray I was just sleeping and life got in my way Floating on my back waiting to die Just a victim of the storm clouds in the sky Was there a world outside this haze Eyes half closed I wandered in a daze Pushed around like driftwood in the sea Finally landed on a shore that leads to me No the highs are high and the lows are so low Can see a glimps of why I gave up the will to row I can't remember who I was Just an empty shell without a cause Looking inside was just too hard Felt I always had to be on guard

Wading through the stream with a cushion of moss for my toes Reeling from the damp smell of earth till that's all I know The afternoon light is whispering through the trees Wildflowers on the side of the path up to my knees Walking through the woods.....It's my religion Playing in the surf.......It's my religion Desert's starry sky......It's my religion Sun upon my skin.......It's my religion Sometimes it's just too much and I'm moved to tears Sky's so big I feel like I could see for years The sun goes down and the wind rises with my fears Rustling in the night, I can hear the call of the wild Storm passing through with the drama of an angry child Cotton candy clouds watch the seagulls flying by Sun sinking low, soon to be orange sherbet sky The sound of the waves, they ease away my pain Sand in my hair, I don't care, I don't wanna be tame

Calm like an ocean dark like the day A walking oxymoron but that's ok I cry when I'm happy I laugh when I'm gray Your lack of understanding is a sign of your decay Really not that special just trying to be real Older maybe wiser developing my skill Don't have it figured out yet probably never will Gonna die trying it's an urge that I can't kill Here I am here I am Sometimes feeling like the light of the world Sometimes plagued with doubt and shame Feels so good feels so good Rip tide pulling me away from the shore Trying to make a splash for my moment of fame

Praying to a god I'm not sure I believe in For a silver lining behind this dark cloud You know I'm looking for diamonds I heard they're buried in this mud There's gotta be something That makes it all worth it Turns suffering into beauty Turns misery into joy Can we make this happen are we victims of fate Grasping for control in this dark and raging storm The ship is thrashing I can hear it creaking and moaning Vicious circle spinning round Caught in an eddy that's too strong I can feel the pull of the dark side It's like a magnet I can't resist Will there be another sunrise I need it to find my way home Can we make this happen are we victims of fate Grasping for control in this dark and raging storm I can feel it coming round the corner I can feel it in my bones

Is this hue a really from the sky blue Or is it just a dream from my flat screen Am I feeling real pain Or am I virtually insane Staying home in style Hiding in my profile See my blank stare Dissolving in my Hardware Do you really care will you really be there Or is this facebook, artificial hook-up I wanna stay connected But I feel infected Stuck in quarantine Never heard and barely seen

It's a beautiful misery and I cherish it fiercely Gonna write it down in song And if you're feeling a bit like me Join in and sing along I carry this in my soul, I need it to keep me whole And it's a gift I give to you Cause sometimes life takes its toll And it's a way to get you through One step at a time One step at a time One step at a time When the rain keeps on pouring down, feeding the desert ground Tomorrow you will see Spring blooming all around And you're where you want to be So cry if you're feeling sad if you don't it could drive you mad And you're tears won't be in vain Cause you won't always feel so bad, Life is both pleasure and pain One step at a time One step at a time One step at a time

I'm your anchor cuz I pull you down You fly so high and I stand my ground Sometimes I wonder when I pull on the reins Does it benefit you or is it what keeps me sane I'm your ball and chain I'm your ball and chain And you seldom complain about your ball and chain Just a touch of madness and a touch of brains Has you believing you can stop this runaway train You've gotta do it you've got to try What's the point of living if your waiting to die I'm your ball and chain I'm your ball and chain And you seldom complain about your ball and chain

Is it time to jump ship, Stuck in a canoe, just me and you Or will I be alone On my own rowboat Afraid we’re drifting away it’s taken so long for an ocean so calm But the whitecaps are here We’ve forgotten to steer, and the salt tastes like fear Sometimes it’s just to hard to know Navigating’s gotten so slow I’m finding it hard to let go I’m finding it hard to let go Lying awake In the still of the night, god give me insight I don’t feel to blame Or any shame, just need to feel safe We’ll make the shore We’ll find relief, it’s my belief We’ll catch a train And be out of the rain, a new journey to claim

Never really learned to be it Always was a mystery Got real good at how to do And work my way to love from you Never really won the prize Falling short before your eyes I wonder just how it would feel To taste the fruit beneath the peel Now the you has turned to me And I'm the one who can't be pleased Never feeling good enough At even just the basic stuff I know I should be in my prime But feeling worth less than a dime This habit is so hard to break I'm growing weary of self Hate I'm growing weary of self hate It's time to turn another page Past the point of who to blame It doesn't take away the pain Patterns etched across my mind Groves grow deeper with the time Tired of living just to cope Hanging on to ragged hope I'm sure there's others feel the same Childhood scars that still remain I'm growing weary of self hate It's time to turn another page

I wanna live life at it's fullest From the jagged highs to the deep and darkest lows Too many years I was coasting on the smooth and rolling hills Cushioning the fall cushioning it all I didn't wanna be the person I was becoming I didn't wanna watch my life go up in flames You know I was driving from the back seat The breaks too far away the car begins to stray I'm a person of extremes splitting at the seams Numbing everything I was running I was running Too many moments of lost memories The ones I have they feel me with shame Too many mirrors I can't see my face Covered in the mist or shattered with my fist

It's a ramshackle life since I've become a housewife I've given up my career as a frozen yogurt pusher extraordinaire No more styrofoam it's time for me to roam We still manage to have fun even though my sugar daddy's under the gun Do you believe in magic like dreams coming true well I'm living the dream it's just slightly skewed I've given up on perfection in every way The cuts and the scratches lend character they say I'm a musician and I play with sound Trying to be an artist of the underground Buried so deep I can't see the light of day Wonder if there's anything worthwhile left to say I paid my dues and I've earned this time Now I'm shouting in the wind and I'm lost in the rhyme My life is getting smaller as it fits on a dot I'm twisted and contorted in a tiny little knot Sugar daddy pounds his bible it's science he interjects We evolved to survive and the rest is just side effects So I go on with this game of my ramshackle life Ride it like a wave the joy and the strife Don't know how much time there is left anymore Live like it's my last moment that's what I'm here for Let go of caring if I matter at all Be who I am and get up when I fall And we're sleeping in our car and we're sleeping in the sand And were doing it together and somehow it feels so grand

Stuck in a day, one that’s never ending Somehow you find a way to make it through tomorrow If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I’d bother But I will fight for you, don’t wanna cause you sorrow Don’t wanna cause you sorrow……. People come and go, things are always changing When I get too attached I end up feeling broken Do I expect too much, am I too needy? But I believe in you, you’re my one salvation My one salvation………..